Something's Got to Give
by ilovetvalot
Summary: TWOSHOT...Reid's never been great at ultimatums...and Hotch has never been good about receiving them.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note: ATTENTION!**_** Several stories contending for nomination for the Profiler's Choice Awards hosted by Chit Chat on Author's Corner lack just ONE nomination. THIS IS THE LAST DAY THE NOMINATION PROCESS WILL BE OPEN. NOMINATIONS WILL CLOSE AT MIDNIGHT EDT ON OCTOBER 15, 2011(TODAY!) So, please, if you haven't already done so and would like to recognize your favorite stories and author's travel to the forum or our profile pages and pick up a nomination ballot. You still have several HOURS left.**

**Also, signups for the Christmas Fic Gift Exchange are still ongoing at the forum until 10/31/11. Please come on over and take a look. We'd love to see you all participate.**

* * *

**Something's Got To Give**

**Chapter One**

"Ralph Waldo Emerson said that the reason why the world lacks unity, and lies broken and in heaps, is because man in disunited with himself," Aaron Hotchner heard Spencer Reid announce from the open bathroom doorway into his bedroom, his voice factual and earnest as Aaron heard the water faucet twist off within.

Groaning to himself, Aaron dropped his head back against the pillow. Sweet God, were they going to have this debate again for the fourth time in two weeks? Tonight? Of all damn nights?

"Spencer," Hotch moaned, forcing himself to keep a true whine from his voice. "It's our anniversary, for God's sake. Do we have to have this conversation again?"

Appearing in the open door, Reid stared across the room at his shirtless lover, already stretched across the bed. "Is there a better time? Ever?" he asked, carefully keeping his voice free of judgment. Flipping off the light to the bathroom, Reid padded barefoot toward the bed, every step measured. "Could you at least think about what I said?"

"Don't you mean what Ralph Waldo Emerson said?" Hotch retorted, immediately regretting the sarcastic bite in his tone as he watched Spencer's eyes shutter and his thin body stiffen. Inhaling deeply, he turned on his side. "I'm sorry, Spencer," he apologized softly, attempting to will the younger man to meet his eyes, "That was out of line. Of course I heard what you said. And I have thought about it." Watching as the younger man slipped off his watch, the gift he'd given him tonight as a hallmark to their first anniversary, Hotch sighed. "But taking our relationship public just isn't an option right now," he said quietly for what felt like the fiftieth time. And even as he heard himself mutter the same words once again, he realized that they probably held as little sway as they had the previous times. He added almost belatedly, "And it's not because I'm disunited with myself or disenchanted with myself or anything else."

"Really?" Reid asked stiffly, his lips pursing as he crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the man he'd fallen in love with. "Because it seems to me that if you were comfortable with our relationship and in your own sexuality that this wouldn't be an issue at all. When two people are in love, I generally thought it was an accepted practice to want to shout it from the proverbial rooftops. Now, I accept that this is a romanticized notion perpetuated by the masses, but the idea has general merit. In my opinion, we should at least be able to tell our closest friends...our teammates, if you will...our family that we're involved in a relationship deeper than mere colleagues.," the younger man stressed, his lips pressing together tightly.

Jesus, Hotch thought grimly, something had to give here. Neither of them could keep traveling around in this endless loop of an argument indefinitely. "Reid," Hotch said, his voice deepening, "you know why I'm resistant to the idea of publicizing our private life. I've told you the same thing every time we've had this discussion."

"And during the first half of this past year, I agreed with you. Our relationship was...new. Neither one of us knew where it was going or if it could even last. Keeping it private was the natural choice. But, Aaron, it's been a year. Twelve months. Three hundred and sixty five days that have all been filled with the same deception. I don't like being a dirty little secret."

"Have you been watching those Lifetime movies again?" Hotch sighed tiredly as Reid perched on the edge of his side of the bed.

"Don't be a jerk," Reid snapped, his shoulders stiffening at the question, hating the feeling of marginalization that always seemed to overtake him in the midst of these conversations. "I know it sounds clichéd but that's how I feel, Aaron. Don't make fun of me for it."

Lifting a hand to run his fingers down Spencer's naked spine, Hotch smiled. They'd come a long way in the past year. There was a time Dr. Spencer Reid would never have dared made a statement so assertive. But after twelve months together, the younger man was no longer nervous about speaking his own mind, at least in the privacy of their respective homes. Some of the independent attitude had even carried over to the BAU, and it made for a sharper, more well honed profiler. And Aaron had to admit that he was extremely grateful for the changes in all areas. "Okay, you're right," Hotch admitted. "That was an asshole thing to say."

"Glad to know you can recognize it," Reid muttered, trying to ignore the warm slide of Aaron's fingertips against his back, his shiver coming involuntarily. "Aaron, can't you see that what I once saw as new and exciting now feels dishonest and illicit? I don't want to feel that way about what I'm doing with the person I love. It's not fair to live a lie. Not now."

"Keeping our private life private isn't dishonest," Hotch countered, frowning at Spencer's back. "Spencer, we work for an agency that has rules against what we're doing," he reminded his lover as gently as he knew how. "Big, big rules. Non-fraternization policies almost written in human blood. Not to mention that we're two men breaking those rules together. And while I know the official party line of non-discrimination at the Bureau, in actuality..."

"Aaron, stop," Reid interrupted sharply. "You're making excuses again. I'm not talking about putting up a billboard outside the Federal Building announcing our homosexuality. I'm talking about confiding in our team. You know, those people that have our backs on a daily basis. When did you start distrusting our family?" he asked, genuinely confused at his lover's reluctance to include their friends in their happiness.

"Is it so wrong that I don't want to open our personal lives to scrutiny, Spencer?" Hotch asked softly, dropping his hand as he leaned back against his pillow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: S****ignups are underway on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum for the Criminal Minds Christmas Gift Fic Exchange through 10/31/11. For anyone that has time to participate, swing by and take a look. Simply tell us what pairings you are willing to write, which pairings you WON'T write, whether your write slash or not, the pairing you'd like to RECEIVE as a gift, and one Christmas carol prompt and three Christmas/Holiday theme prompts. For example: Silent Night (carol), reindeer, Christmas tree, blue holiday lights. For anyone that has any questions, simply PM me.**

**The final VOTING ballot will be released shortly for the second annual Criminal Minds Profiler's Choice Awards will also be up at the forum shortly. We are excited to get this final vote underway.**

**Also, don't forget to join us over at Facebook. We've got a wonderful community of authors and readers alike waiting to engage in stimulating conversation. Simply friend "Ilovetvalot Fanfiction" or "Tonnie Fanfiction". We can't wait to hear from you!**

* * *

**Something's Got To Give**

**Chapter Two**

Turning sharply to face the man whose bed he shared, Reid narrowed his eyes. "Scrutiny? Are you serious? When Rossi and JJ fell in love after Will took off for parts unknown, nobody on our team batted an eyelash when they drifted into a relationship and eventually fell in love. In fact, our teammates wholeheartedly embraced it. We were happy for them. You were happy for them."

"I was." Hotch nodded, his head moving against the pillow. "I still am."

"And nobody went around announcing it to the Bureau at large either," Reid noted pointedly as he shifted against the mattress.

"You're right, they didn't," Hotch assented blandly, propping his head in his hand as Reid gained steam.

"So, it's acceptable to you for them to be together and happy, but not for us. Explain your logic," Spencer demanded.

"I already have," Hotch stated patiently.

"Do it again, Aaron," Reid bit out, his jaw flexing as his agitation grew. "And if I were you, I'd really sell it this time."

Lifting his chin at the new edge in Reid's voice, Hotch slowly nodded. "Okay. First, there's the obvious difference. Rossi doesn't lead this team. I do. I'm Unit Chief. A Unit Chief that's having an ongoing affair with a subordinate, as far as the Bureau is concerned. The consequences for me are a lot steeper than they would be for Rossi. Our relationship being made public wouldn't just mean a reprimand. It would mean my removal as Chief and, perhaps, termination. Second, while I'm entirely comfortable in our arrangement, most individuals working for the Bureau aren't as open minded regarding homosexuality. Do you want to be whispered about, Spencer? Maybe ridiculed?"

"Of course not," Reid ground out. "But I refuse to hide from homophobes. Gay men and women spent years trying to overcome those obstacles. Hiding in a closet, especially from our closest friends, hurts. Do you understand that? It's painful. And it feels like we're doing something wrong."

"We're not," Aaron replied tightly, reaching for Reid's hand. "I'm simply trying to protect us."

"Well, it feels an awful lot like hiding. I don't want to hide anymore. And, if you do, I don't see how this can go any further between us. Either you feel secure in our relationship or you don't," he said sadly, his eyes dark and soulful as the met Aaron's gaze. "Either you love me enough to come clean to those we care about or we're done. I've been patient. I've been understanding. And I've made very few demands of you. But this isn't negotiable any longer."

Swallowing as he realized what Spencer was saying, Hotch exhaled a long breath. "I hate ultimatums, Spencer," Hotch warned.

"If that's how you see it, I'm sorry. I genuinely am," Reid shook his head, blinking back tears. "But I don't like hurting. And this..." he said, gesturing between them, "hurts. Feeling like I'm only good enough to fill your bed...to be your lover behind closed doors hurts. I deserve better than that. I deserve more from you."

He couldn't deny Spencer's words found their target. His heart hammered in his chest as the gravity of their current situation settled over him. The younger man was serious. And despite all his well-founded arguments, he wasn't wrong either. For the last few months, he'd steadfastly ignored those growing shadows in Spencer's eyes...shadows that he now realized he was entirely responsible for.

He'd done the one thing he'd sworn he'd never do to the younger man. He'd hurt him. And because of it, his lover was prepared to walk away.

It wasn't the first time it had happened to him, visions of his former marriage flashing in his mind. Hell, he and Haley even made similar arguments. Once again, he was attempting to put his career before the person he loved.

Only this time, he was smarter. He'd seen what he stood to lose. He knew the painful loneliness that would accompany Reid's departure from his life. He knew how that vacant space in his heart would ache.

And he wasn't prepared to face that pain again. Not when he could avoid it.

"Okay," he conceded softly, the word falling off his lips easily now that his choice had been made.

"Okay, what?" Reid asked suspiciously.

"We'll confide in our team and let the chips fall where they may. It's not like I can't go back to practicing law if our relationship does become public," Hotch offered.

"You're choosing me?" Reid asked faintly, his jaw dropping slightly as he stared at the older man.

"I'm choosing us," Hotch corrected, smiling faintly as Reid's gape widened. "I can see I've shocked you."

"I...uhmmm...I..." Reid faltered, blinking rapidly as his agile mind tried to process Aaron's choice, "I guess I never really thought..."

"...that I'd put you first," Hotch asserted quietly, ashamed of himself. "I suppose I've given you plenty of reasons to think that, Spencer. But I love you. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose this," he whispered, pushing up on his elbow to cup Spencer's neck and pull his lips toward him for a gentle kiss.

Resting his forehead against Hotch's when Aaron released his lips a long moment later, Reid inhaled a shaky breath. "I've never been so frightened in my life," he murmured, closing his eyes as he felt Hotch's strong embrace surround him, pulling him down to lie against his lover's chest.

"Me either," Hotch confided, his arms constricting tightly around Reid. "I knew something had to give."

"You just never suspected it would be you, huh?" Reid quipped, his fingers toying in the mat of hair on Aaron's chest.

Smiling against Reid's hair, Hotch sighed. "No," he replied truthfully, "I didn't. But I've got to say, there's something to be said for capitulation."

"I believe it was Gary Kaminsky that said if it was capitulation, it would be louder," Reid stated knowledgeably.

Groaning, Hotch rolled Reid to his back. "Spencer," he said against the younger man's lips, "It's time to shut up now and enjoy the sweet taste of victory."

And enjoy it, he did.

_**Finis**_


End file.
